Sometimes, You Know When It's Time to Say Goodbye

Here I sit on my birthday and while I have spent part of the day reflecting on my past years and thinking about whatever future I have left.  Most of this day and the past few weeks have been spent worrying about one of my two dogs.  Why worrying?  Well, Jazmin is 14 years old in human years, but almost 100 in canine years.  I've enjoyed having her in my life and I hope she feels the same way.

Jazmin or Jazmine or even Jasmine was named by my ex-wife as she was her dog first but before, during and after the sham of a marriage, the dog and I really bonded with each other.  I never would've thought I'd enjoy having a Samoyed (or American Eskimo), but never say never.  Jazmin will always be remembered for doing a few tricks, barking, grubbing food, enjoying rides in the car, getting sprayed with the hose, swimming and her favorite pastime, chasing squirrels!  One time in western Massachusetts, I really  thought she had successfully grabbed a squirrel, but thankfully she hadn't.  Playing "chase the squirrel" is one thing but killing said squirrel was not acceptable whatsoever.

Jazmin

Jazmin was from Los Angeles, that's where I first met her, she was living with my ex-wife's first husband and his family.  Yes, I know, I should've known but at the time I wasn't that bright.  I don't know if I'm any brighter now, but I'd like to think I am but that's another story. 

After thinking about having a dog in the house, I decided Jazmin should come live with us in North Hollywood because she would have more attention even though some days we would be gone for hours working.  Initially Jazmin was unsure of me and living in a new place, but she got acclimated to me and my house.  I learned that Jazmin really liked to chase squirrels and me for that matter, she liked chewing on my ankles when she would attack my feet and shins, she'd like to play wrestle and fight me.  It was hilarious and she'd get really crazy, it was awesome!   She hasn't been able to really do any of that or her up on her hind legs trick where she would twirl around a couple of times in order to get a treat.  I was impressed that she was able to do that.  I taught her to sit with the signing command but not much else.  She hadn't really been trained to do much, but she was exceptionally house trained!   This was definitely a blessing on some long work days.  

Nikki RIP, Cody, Jazmin

Jazmin was quite a character and since she was a snow dog, living in Los Angeles probably wasn't her favorite thing, so when she discovered snow for the first time, she went crazy!  She loved it!  Many days she wouldn't come back inside after I let her out.  She loved chasing the squirrels in the snow and I think the squirrels enjoyed it to to some extent.  When I kept bird feeders along the fence, the squirrels treated it as their own personal Las Vegas buffet.  She would wait patiently, shaking her whole body and when it came time to chase after them, she was like a bat out of hell!  It was hilarious.

Once the marriage was over (thankfully) and the ex-wife finally moved out, Jazmin stayed behind along with Cody the Mini-Pin.  Cody was technically her dog too, but she couldn't have dogs where she moved to and I was certainly not going to let them leave without a fight.  Needless to say, there wasn't a fight and the dogs stayed with me.  

Cody and Jazmin

After suffering at a job that made me miserable for far too long, I decided it was time to leave western Massachusetts for the final time.  I'd reached a creative plateau that really wasn't hard to reach quite honestly and instead of getting frustrated, I had an opportunity to move west and I jumped at it.

Even though Jazmin was a snow dog and Cody could generally leave it rather than take it, I think the move was good for both of them.  I had noticed Jazmin had gotten somewhat older but she really didn't show signs of truly aging until she reached 12 or even 13.  The last few months of her life were really tough for her.  When she stood, sometimes her back legs would shake and she would walk slower.  The pep in her step had started to leave as we were coming up on 7 months of being back in Los Angeles.  When January came around, her eyesight really started to deteriorate and she couldn't maneuver as she once was able to.  Her appetite started to become non-existant, which was certainly unusual for her.  She loved to eat what I was eating and even up until a week before she crossed the Rainbow Bridge, she was barking at me while I was trying to eat.  

Jazmin

Suddenly, it all stopped.

Within days she had stopped eating, her appetite was gone, I had to force her to eat as best I could without being forceful, she couldn't get up to go outside to relieve herself and towards the end, I would have to carry her out and let her walk as much as she could in order to go.  On her last two days of being with me, she hadn't been able to stand and I had to hold her up so she could go.  She was only drinking at this point and not eating.  When she tried to shake herself as she always did, she lost her balance and fell.  Her poor body had all but given up on her.  

Jazmin, Nikki and Cody appear in the "I'd Rather Be With My Dog" music video by Doug Ratner & the Watchmen

I called the vet but even though they told me she might be able to overcome how she was feeling with medication, I couldn't do it.  Jazmin didn't deserve to exist just because I wanted her to.  Nature and her body were telling me something that Jazmin really couldn't.  Her time on this earth was just about done and she wanted to sleep.  I got in touch with my ex-wife and told her the situation and at almost 14 years, Jazmin had a wonderful time, living on both coasts, traveling the USA twice and just enjoying herself as a spoiled dog.

Taking the final "family selfie" in the veterinarian's office wasn't easy to do, but neither was watching Jazmin wonder why she couldn't walk or stand.  Cody and I accompanied her to the vet's and as tough as this was for me, the staff were wonderful.  The vet even hugged me twice and kissed Jazmin as he handled things with such professionalism and compassion it was very admirable.  

She is loved and she is missed every day.

                                                      (me, Cody, Jazmin saying goodbye)                     

Jazmin

Jazmin

Jazmin

Jazmin

Jazmin and Cody getting ready to move across country